I cannot sit through a single episode of “Toddlers and Tiaras.”
However, after hearing comments from a few of my friends about Brock Ritter, the seven year old boy currently being featured on the show, I decided to do a bit of research. Due to what I know about the program, and due to the nature of what I’d been told, I expected it not to be pleasant.
I cannot sit through a single episode of “Toddlers and Tiaras” because of the bratty kids. Also, more importantly, their overbearing stage moms drive me up the wall.
Pageantry is quite notorious for parents who force their children into the spotlight as a means of vicariously fulfilling their own failed childhood dreams. I’ve encountered a number of such parents myself while working on various projects, and I’ve seen the effects of their misguided passion on their confused and, later, bitter children.
But Brock Ritter doesn’t have those parents.
Unless they, too, are talented performers, I can see nothing but love and support for their son in the interviews they’ve given. They don’t brag about his abilities or the ways he’ll win competitions. Instead, they take a back seat, simply providing commentary on Brock’s true passion.
It’s kind of passion that can’t be faked. Even The Today Show said that he seems like “the only kid who really wants to be doing this.”
We all can tell when someone is placed in a position that makes them uncomfortable. If an ultra-masculine, die-hard football player was forced into a dress and paraded down a runway, the signs would be loud and clear. We might similarly see those signs from Brock if he was forced into a football helmet. (You certainly would from me.)
He’s been taking dance classes for six years (he insisted at age two), and spends his spare time attempting to train himself in gymnastics. Though I doubt he fully understands what he says when describing himself as a “diva”, he is obviously quite comfortable in his competitions, and is absolutely ecstatic to be doing what he loves.
Brock is inspiring. Even though pageants are a girl-dominated world, he is proudly being himself, loving who he is, and following his dreams. He’s showing bravery in the face of bullies at school, and now on the internet.
On a popular news site, amongst a number of homophobic rants, one commenter wrote that “there’s no way, at five years old, he knows who he is and what he wants to do.” But I speak from experience when I say that one’s passions, dreams and goals can be discovered at any age. Also, I would like to invite this commenter to offer the same sentiments to all of the little girls enrolled in dance classes around the world.
Their dreams of the spotlight may very well be just dreams. In fact, their interest in their dance shoes might not last very long at all. But no one would deny them the opportunity to give it a shot. To do so because they might not “truly” aspire to become dancers one day would be ludicrous and unheard of.
The truth is that these disheartening comments are rooted in fear and misunderstanding, all stemming from the simple fact that Brock is a boy.
One of my favorite comedians is the brilliant Eddie Izzard. For years he (literally) pounded the pavement, working his way up from being a street performer to headlining at Wembley Stadium. And when he got there, he proudly walked onstage in high heels and a dress.
Eddie Izzard is a “male tomboy”, or, to put it simply, a transvestite. And he’s raised eyebrows every step of the way. In fact, I often struggle getting friends to see past his lipstick and eyeshadow when I share hilarious clips of his shows. But once they do, they laugh.
In “Believe”, the documentary film which chronicles his story, Eddie talks of adjusting the straps on his mother’s stockings and secretly dressing up in her clothes, no older than age three. This is no gimmick. Eddie doesn’t need his earrings to get attention, his comedy speaks for itself. He is simply being who he has always been.
I also adore pop artist Lady Gaga. Not only do we share a flair for theatricality and production, but she is more active than anyone in encouraging the world to be themselves. And she sets a killer example.
Unfortunately, because Gaga is unusual, she faced a great amount of bullying growing up, and faces an even greater amount today. Tabloids spin stories like only tabloids can, and people, not used to her unique perspective, are instantly turned off.
There’s no denying the powerful voice underneath her clothes. And despite Gaga’s articulate explanations for her extreme fashion and over-the-top performances, they are all-too-often dismissed as nothing but “attention getters.” Many seem to believe that, because she’s unusual, she cannot be genuine.
I’m fighting for every kid that’s like me, that felt like I felt and feels like I still feel. It hurts when I know how much authenticity and genuine blood is in my spirit, and how much I feel like people don’t know that because they see wigs and lipstick and they just shut down because they don’t understand.
Unfortunately, the struggles of Brock, Eddie, and Gaga are not uncommon.
People around the world struggle every day to love themselves and be who they are. To be secure in their identity, no matter what people might say.
I certainly don’t always feel like I can truly be myself. But, as one of Gaga’s latest chart-toppers proclaims, “God makes no mistakes.” And I fight every single day to become who I am at heart.
Just because something is different doesn’t make it wrong. The things that make us unique are the things that make us beautiful, and should be celebrated, not destroyed.
So, free yourself. Find the beauty in what sets you apart, and forget anyone or anything that’s ever made you feel like you don’t belong. Then do your best to help the rest of us do the same.
Choosing to love isn’t always easy, but it is a choice.
As it is put in the finale of Children of Eden: ”Our hands can choose to drop the knife. Our hearts can choose to stop the hating. For every moment of our life is the beginning.”
Let’s make this the beginning.
This week on Life Plugged In, a weekly show I co-host with 
