(Clap!)

Dirty socks are in the wash tonight
When they’re done we’ll throw em on the clothesline
Yeah no clothes will get left behind
We just wanna see ya… wash that

In the wash, dirty sock. Gotta get it clean before five o clock
Take it out when the cyc le stops, gonna be the cleanest on the block
Where’s the bank? I got to know, I get some quarters then I’ve got to go
Half darks, half lights, sort the loads- don’t mix colors, don’tcha know!

Yo! I’m washing all these clothes like a pro
It’s like I’m on a game show, my clothes roll, cause I had some dirty socks!
Yeah, got some stains that I’m preppin
Spray some bleach on that top, on those jeans and those leggins!

CHORUS

Everyday I’m cyclin!

Step up fast, into the laundromat with coins and cash
Got this machine, don’t be mad, now stop- hatin’ is bad

One more load for us (another round)
Soap is in my cup (don’t mess around)
We just wanna see (you wash it now)
Clothes are gonna be (so tidy now)

Get up, get down, spin your laundry all around
Get up, get down, spin your laundry all around
Get up, get down, spin your laundry all around
Spin your laundry all around, spin your laundry all around

Get up, get up, get up, get up
Get up, get up, get up, get up, get up,
spin your laundry all around, all around
Spin your laundry, spin your laundry, spin your laundry, spin your laundry

Dirty socks are in the wash tonight
When they’re done we’ll throw em on the clothesline
Yeah no clothes will get left behind
When they’re done we’ll throw em on the clothes, clothes, clothesline

However, after hearing comments from a few of my friends about Brock Ritter, the seven year old boy currently being featured on the show, I decided to do a bit of research. Due to what I know about the program, and due to the nature of what I’d been told, I expected it not to be pleasant.

I cannot sit through a single episode of “Toddlers and Tiaras” because of the bratty kids. Also, more importantly, their overbearing stage moms drive me up the wall.

Pageantry is quite notorious for parents who force their children into the spotlight as a means of vicariously fulfilling their own failed childhood dreams. I’ve encountered a number of such parents myself while working on various projects, and I’ve seen the effects of their misguided passion on their confused and, later, bitter children.

But Brock Ritter doesn’t have those parents.

Unless they, too, are talented performers, I can see nothing but love and support for their son in the interviews they’ve given. They don’t brag about his abilities or the ways he’ll win competitions. Instead, they take a back seat, simply providing commentary on Brock’s true passion.

It’s kind of passion that can’t be faked. Even The Today Show said that he seems like “the only kid who really wants to be doing this.”

We all can tell when someone is placed in a position that makes them uncomfortable. If an ultra-masculine, die-hard football player was forced into a dress and paraded down a runway, the signs would be loud and clear. We might similarly see those signs from Brock if he was forced into a football helmet. (You certainly would from me.)

He’s been taking dance classes for six years (he insisted at age two), and spends his spare time attempting to train himself in gymnastics. Though I doubt he fully understands what he says when describing himself as a “diva”, he is obviously quite comfortable in his competitions, and is absolutely ecstatic to be doing what he loves.

Brock is inspiring. Even though pageants are a girl-dominated world, he is proudly being himself, loving who he is, and following his dreams. He’s showing bravery in the face of bullies at school, and now on the internet.

On a popular news site, amongst a number of homophobic rants, one commenter wrote that “there’s no way, at five years old, he knows who he is and what he wants to do.” But I speak from experience when I say that one’s passions, dreams and goals can be discovered at any age. Also, I would like to invite this commenter to offer the same sentiments to all of the little girls enrolled in dance classes around the world.

Their dreams of the spotlight may very well be just dreams. In fact, their interest in their dance shoes might not last very long at all. But no one would deny them the opportunity to give it a shot. To do so because they might not “truly” aspire to become dancers one day would be ludicrous and unheard of.

The truth is that these disheartening comments are rooted in fear and misunderstanding, all stemming from the simple fact that Brock is a boy.

One of my favorite comedians is the brilliant Eddie Izzard. For years he (literally) pounded the pavement, working his way up from being a street performer to headlining at Wembley Stadium. And when he got there, he proudly walked onstage in high heels and a dress.

Eddie Izzard is a “male tomboy”, or, to put it simply, a transvestite. And he’s raised eyebrows every step of the way. In fact, I often struggle getting friends to see past his lipstick and eyeshadow when I share hilarious clips of his shows. But once they do, they laugh.

In “Believe”, the documentary film which chronicles his story, Eddie talks of adjusting the straps on his mother’s stockings and secretly dressing up in her clothes, no older than age three. This is no gimmick. Eddie doesn’t need his earrings to get attention, his comedy speaks for itself. He is simply being who he has always been.

I also adore pop artist Lady Gaga. Not only do we share a flair for theatricality and production, but she is more active than anyone in encouraging the world to be themselves. And she sets a killer example.

Unfortunately, because Gaga is unusual, she faced a great amount of bullying growing up, and faces an even greater amount today. Tabloids spin stories like only tabloids can, and people, not used to her unique perspective, are instantly turned off.

There’s no denying the powerful voice underneath her clothes. And despite Gaga’s articulate explanations for her extreme fashion and over-the-top performances, they are all-too-often dismissed as nothing but “attention getters.” Many seem to believe that, because she’s unusual, she cannot be genuine.

I’m fighting for every kid that’s like me, that felt like I felt and feels like I still feel. It hurts when I know how much authenticity and genuine blood is in my spirit, and how much I feel like people don’t know that because they see wigs and lipstick and they just shut down because they don’t understand.

Unfortunately, the struggles of Brock, Eddie, and Gaga are not uncommon.

People around the world struggle every day to love themselves and be who they are. To be secure in their identity, no matter what people might say.

I certainly don’t always feel like I can truly be myself. But, as one of Gaga’s latest chart-toppers proclaims, “God makes no mistakes.” And I fight every single day to become who I am at heart.

Just because something is different doesn’t make it wrong. The things that make us unique are the things that make us beautiful, and should be celebrated, not destroyed.

So, free yourself. Find the beauty in what sets you apart, and forget anyone or anything that’s ever made you feel like you don’t belong. Then do your best to help the rest of us do the same.

Choosing to love isn’t always easy, but it is a choice.

As it is put in the finale of Children of Eden: ”Our hands can choose to drop the knife. Our hearts can choose to stop the hating. For every moment of our life is the beginning.”

Let’s make this the beginning.

Listen Now:

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This week on Life Plugged In, Lamarr and Dave go musical! We’re talking all about the different ways to legally purchase music online. From iTunes to Amazon to Zune, it’s all inside. PLUS: Even more Bieber… we’re sorry.

About Life Plugged In: Join Dave Moyer and Lamarr Wilson each week as they decode the digital world and try to make some sense of the incredible technology surrounding our everyday lives. Participate in the conversation by calling (707) 456-7584, emailing lifepluggedin@makingmylife.com or commenting at lifepluggedin.com.

A network that I never thought would have a game show has got one… Cartoon Network. The concept? Fit yourself in a hole? I just saw the promo for this tonight, and I’m not quite sure what to think. Is this really a thing? OMG.

I’ve taken a little bit of a vacation the last couple weeks, and I mean a true vacation- I’ve been almost entirely offline and been able to spend some time simply thinking and living, which has become a bit of a traditional annual occasion for me.

It’s been absolutely fantastic, and I definitely have enjoyed the break. Being disconnected is slightly uncomfortable but also an extremely mind-clearing experience, and I’d recommend it to anyone who feels like they’ve been cluttered and confused or unusually unproductive.

However, it’s been long enough and I want my life (and, more importantly, my internet) back! I’m ready to kick off the fall with tons of energy. Here’s a little rundown of what to expect.

From August 27-29, I’ll be in Dallas speaking at OpenCamp, an exciting new conference that’s bringing together the best and brightest minds in tech and social media, without a focus on any specific content management platform. I’ll be talking about what the organizing team and I have dubbed “Podcasting Powerups.” Find out more at the official conference site.

Bitwire’s Lorelle VanFossen and all sorts of other big names and brilliant minds are also speaking, and the whole weekend is poised to seriously rock. I hope to see you all there!

Bitwire Media is kicking up a storm in the blogging, podcasting and radio worlds. As many of you have noticed, our WordCast Network of Blogging, Social Media and WordPress podcasts has scaled back a little bit through the summer months as we reorganize, revamp and renovate, but we’re almost ready to unveil some exciting new shows and features.

We’re also finally nearing the well overdue launch of Making My Life, a brand new, collaborative network of audio and video shows and community submitted content, all focused on improving your world and lifestyle, wherever and however you wish.

We’ve been working day and night for nearly a year with super cool, cutting edge web tech and are breaking all the rules when it comes to blogging, podcasting, and social media communities. To find out more and to get involved, you can check out Bitwire’s official blog post.

Also, If you’re interested in a peek behind the curtain of all these fun productions, check out these behind the scenes photos of our podcast and radio studio. Also, be watching for many new episodes of Bitwire: Behind the Scenes, which I host with Lorelle VanFossen.

My little vlogging career is continuing to be super fun. I’m sorry for the lack of videos lately, but I’ve got all kinds of fun stuff in the works so be watching for new content soon on my YouTube channel, and make sure you’re subscribed!

Thanks so much for putting up with my absolute lack of… anything. I’m excited to be getting back in gear.

However, due to the fact that I do not live in Reno, Nevada, I had to take the incredibly efficient and practical transportation network that is air travel in order to attend. Please note the extreme amount of sarcasm in that last sentence.

You see, my route consists of a lengthy flight to Los Angeles and a less lengthy flight from there to my final destination, the lovely city of Reno. Now, you may be wondering, “Dave, why are you going all the way to California, passing directly over Nevada, then turning right back around to get to Reno?”

I would respond to such a query, but I cannot, due to the fact that I can think of absolutely no logical reason to be taking such a route.

In fact, I have decided that my itinerary is the most circuitous route of all time. Should you have any objections, or know of a more circuitous route, please contact The Center for More Circuitous Routes Than Denver-To-LA-To-Reno, or TCFMCRTDTLATR. They will handle all such assertions. But, for now, my proclamation stands.

Now, upon arriving for my scheduled two-hour layover in LA, I was informed (with little condolence) by the monitors outside the gate that my flight to Reno had been delayed by a full hour. One hour. Sixty minutes. 3600 seconds. Ample time to do all sorts of things, including:

• Take a scenic walk
• Take a scenic run, covering more distance than one would taking a scenic walk
• Bake a batch of succulent cookies
• Watch an episode of an hour-long TV show
• Watch two episodes of a half-hour-long TV show
• Knit as much of a sweater (or other garment) that is knittable in an hour (amount of garment knitted may vary depending on knitting ability)

Unfortunately, I cannot do any of these things.

Because I am stuck in an airport, with nothing but Starbucks, uncomfortable chairs, and wifi slower than an ox-drawn wagon.

Therefore, I am left with writing this blog post.

Now, you may say, “Dave, a busy person such as yourself must have more to do than wasting your time writing such a pointless blog post.”

Yes, I must, mustn’t I? But, think of it this way…

If I didn’t waste my time writing this blog post, you couldn’t have wasted the last few minutes of your life reading it.

That was almost philosophical. Almost.

Good thing I have an hour to keep trying. Thanks, Southwest Airlines.

I’m not writing to share my opinion about TechCrunch, Daniel or what many have been calling the “BRU-ha-ha”. I want to write about a bigger issue, something that’s upset me.

Far too many have written off Daniel’s actions as “a sign of how corrupt Silicon Valley is these days” and “proof that teens shouldn’t be allowed to have such high media positions.” They use his age and his relative achievements as justification.

This post is an open plea to the media, tech and business communities, those involved in the recent events surrounding TechCrunch, and those who have ever worked with or come across myself or other young people setting their sights higher than their peers.

Take age out of the equation.

Age is simply a number. It does not apply to the things one can achieve or the internal drive that one possesses. The more you focus on age, the more those achievements and that drive become completely irrelevant.

People are people. People screw up. There are adults who have committed similar if not worse crimes, and there are kids who have been in similar if not higher positions and upheld an incredibly professional reputation. This is true regardless of “how messed up and corrupted Silicon Valley is these days.”

Daniel’s age is no excuse for his actions. His actions are not worsened because of his age. By choosing the entrepreneurial path and by placing himself in a journalistic position, he put himself on a level playing field with the adults that surrounded him, and accepted all connected responsibilities, liabilities and risks.

When I see coverage saying that Daniel is an example of what happens when youth are allowed to succeed, I am extremely disheartened, because this directly insults the simply outstanding work that so many people under the age of 20 have done, in addition to my own. Age simply is not a factor in this, or any similar situation.

It is entirely inappropriate for anyone to pull out a single instance and use the actions of one individual as justification to invalidate an entire community. Daniel is not the only teen involved in the tech or business space (his company and conference prove that), and his screw-up does not mean that anybody should be denied the chance to be successful simply because of their age.

Teens in the media, tech and business spaces everywhere should take this as a warning. Though some protest this notion (I’m protesting against those protesters), Daniel Brusilovsky is being held to the same standard any adult journalist would, as he should be.

When one rejects the norms society puts in place, they cannot expect to revoke that rejection when things suddenly turn bad.

Though those who are underage and “working” should absolutely have supervisors – mentors or guides to help them along the way – your actions are entirely your own.

If you make a mistake, you are responsible. You face the same consequences the rest of the world does. Even if your “inexperience” or “lack of understanding” played a role, they cannot and will not act as a pass of any kind. If that is the case, maybe you should have thought more carefully about sitting down at the big kids’ table.

I want to send one more warning to wunderkids everywhere: Do not, under any circumstances, make your age the key to your success or notability. That card expires, and fast.

You can and will gather buzz because of your age. That’s natural, that’s good, and you should take advantage of it while you have it. That buzz is unique to this space and not many people get that privilege.

However, age is a number. You are a person, not a wunderkid. You are a person whose actions must stand for themselves.

What is left after, one day, your “look at the adorable youngster in a suit” bubble finally pops will be the true measure of your value and success.

On one of these walks, I noticed a strange truck parked by the curb at a quaint little park, connected to an extremely old trailer with peeling paint. Both the truck and trailer read:

UNWANTED APPLIANCES HAULED AWAY

The trailer is also kind enough to note that it is IRON MAN who is providing this service, and that Mr. Iron Man collects such things as:

• BQ GRILL (should be “BBQ GRILLS” but a B and S have peeled off)
• LAN MOWS (I believe this is “lawn mowers” missing a W, an E and an R)
• BIKS (“bikes” missing an E)
• CRAP MEAL (most likely “scrap metal” missing an S and a T, though I find this version much more amusing)

(I regret that it’s been too dark to take a picture of this truck every time I’ve passed it.)

Somehow, in the time between the night before, when that space on the curb was vacant, and the time at which I was reading the extensive list of junk that this man of iron will take off of one’s hands, this truck had arrived, and one or more people had taken notice and hauled over (from what I could see):

• Multiple bicycles
• A rake
• A freezer (or refrigerator… is there a way to tell the difference?)
• At least three barbecue grills
• A slide from a children’s playset
• Rectangular metal tubing that appeared have been an air duct at one time
• The mower portion of a push lawn mower (apparently this person had another use for the handle)
• Some strange plastic tube thing that I couldn’t possibly identify. However, it was plastic, leading me to believe that someone had confused this truck for a PLASTIC MAN vehicle.

Over the next week of nightly outings, the truck continued to fill (one day a different truck, clearly from the same “fleet”, had taken its place). Iron Man was obviously hauling away these unwanted appliances as he promised, because the contents of the truck continued to fluctuate.

At least a week later, I was going about my walk and passed by what is called (at least according the stone dictating its dedication to Evelyn something, a “super” president on my neighborhood’s board of directors) a “mini plaza”. (It’s two benches on opposite sides of the sidewalk… how this is a plaza, even of the mini variety, I don’t know.) I just happened to notice, conveniently illuminated by a lamp post, a large sheet of metal laying in the street. This metallic rectangle was at least 2.5 by 5 feet, with two rows of little holes running neatly down the middle.

I couldn’t just leave this hazard where it was, obstructing our suburban road! That would make a bad resident of me, and I certainly needed as many points as possible if I was ever going to earn a mini plaza dedication. Suddenly, I knew what to do.

This was a job for Iron Man.

Within thirty seconds, I was walking the four block distance to the parked truck, metal in hand. Of course, I was also walking my dog, and I couldn’t just cut off my phone conversation!

So, I slowly shuffled down the sidewalk with the incredibly dirty metal in my right hand, held in place by my left elbow. My left hand was busy holding both my dog’s leash and my phone up to my ear. Also, did I mention that I was wearing flip flops?

Who knows what went through the mind of the five or six drivers who went by me as I made this trek, but I’m fairly sure it was something like, “Look at that wonderful resident of our fine neighborhood, clearing the road of superfluous metal. They’ll most definitely build a mini plaza in recognition of his efforts one day.”

Turned out it was difficult to lift this metal into the truck with only one hand, so it ended up resting, somewhat skewed, partly in the bed of the truck and partly on top of the hitch connecting this truck to its trailer. Despite this, I returned the next day to find the truck gone, and the scrap metal with it.

I had performed my duty as a resident. I hope those black stains come out of that t-shirt. And those jeans. And my hand. I’ll take my mini plaza now.

…it does not mean that you should add these sidebars on top of your videos when you already have widescreen footage.

Unfortunately, this is a practice I have seen a lot of lately, even to the point where some people have posted entire videos asking their viewers if they would prefer to have these sidebars on the side, or to have widescreen video with nothing covered up instead.

Evidently, these people do not understand the fact that the purpose of these bars is to make the empty black space sucking the chi out of the rest of a video a little less empty and black. That’s all they are there for. If there’s something to see on the sides that you have filmed in widescreen that is not empty and black, I would like to please see it.

Dear YouTubers, what you are doing is the equivalent of adding a shower curtain over a shower that already has a glass door. That glass door is already there. Though shower curtains are nice and pretty when there is nothing else to shield water from splashing all over your bathroom, if you have a glass door, that works even better. That’s why it’s there. And adding a shower curtain over it is just going to make it annoying to get in and out of your shower.

Please stop it with the extraneous shower curtains. And also with the unnecessary sidebars. Thanks. (Oh yeah, and Justine? No worries. We all still love you.)

photo credit: dreamsjung

I got yet another phishing email today, from THE MR ARTHUR ALGANZO. He has an email address hosted at hotmail.com, and the subject was “Confirmation Ticket Number:X-3007333284″.

The message dictated to me that, first of all, “this is not a spam or contains virus”, simply a notification from “free lottery INTERNATIONAL”. I read on to find…

Your electronic email address emerged as one of the Free Lotto Daily Jackpot on-line winning email sweepstakes program held on the 20th of July,2009 in Amsterdam The Netherlands., hence your email address attached to a cash award of €1,000,000.00 (One Million Euro Only).

The message, (sent from THE MR ARTHUR ALGANZO) was signed

Kind Regards,
Mrs. Elizabeth Den Bach,
Promotions Coordinator,

Now, for those of you who are unaware (and if you’re unaware I fear for you), this was a phishing email. It was not real. Ever. However, when I sarcastically Twittered about the message:

GUYS! I won 1,000,000 euros in a lottery in the Netherlands! It says so in an email from THE MR ARTHUR ALGANZO! Woo!

I got ten responses. Two were sarcastically acknowledging it being a scam and laughing at my insightful wit, one was angry yelling at me that it was fake, and the other seven were inquiring about whether or not I entered, wondering how much money that was in US dollars, and congratulating me on what I thought was an obviously fake lottery jackpot.

It’s those last seven people I’m concerned about.

You see, if these people were to get one of these emails, I find it highly likely that they would respond in an attempt to collect their millions, giving away all sorts of bank, credit card, and other highly personal information, and become broke identity fraud victims. To these people: This was not real. If you did not enter a lottery in a strange European country you will not win a lottery in a strange European country. Also, no lottery will email you with a form attached to collect these winnings. Thank you.

Then again, maybe we should let these people drown in phishing scams so we can weed them out. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with them when they’re blabbering in line in front of me at Starbucks. Just saying.